There’s a layer of truth to some of what Murray has said, but his shockingly exaggerated, hateful message is not intended to resolve or heal. Murray does not accept or credit my commitment or contributions to the project, and he has sought to denigrate, disenfranchise and discredit me consistently over the years… though this is obviously the loudest and most hurtful attempt.
I am totally comfortable admitting my flaws and mistakes. I have made plenty. There are some issues raised in Murray’s post that have been noted before and that I’ve accepted. I will seek to resolve these soon, because they are important to me and the project I love. Of course, resolving these issues did not require such hatefulness, but that is a property of the dysfunctional relationship on display.
Despite that relationship, I have great respect and appreciation for Murray’s contributions to GNOME, and have tried to reach out an olive branch to him on numerous occasions. It has never been received kindly. I thought that after the issues we faced earlier this year, we could settle into a quiet detente, and not bother each other. But the armistice was broken, and it was not to be.
It is clear that neither of us are in a position to productively work together.
I am unlikely to make any further comment on Murray’s attacks. I just don’t think there’s a positive resolution to aim for here.
Thanks to those who have voiced support, it means a lot to me.
Some folks have suggested that Murray should retract his comments. He shouldn’t. That is what he feels, that is how he chose to express it, and he is old enough to be accountable and responsible for his freedom of expression. It’s his blog. They’re his words. I created Planet GNOME as a public arena, for the community to share, and this is an entirely valid expression for it. Voltaire would be rolling in his grave!
Meanwhile, I don’t want to bring on the violins or anything, but I’ve written earlier in the year about my depression. Although it’s impossible to pin down any one thing that leads to an episode, contributing factors can be identified.
Sadly, in this case, Murray’s attacks on me around that time were a contributing factor to my mental stress and state of mind, and had an impact on my work in GNOME, not to mention my relationships, business, etc.
I raise this because there is a very important point to be made: Despite ongoing stigma in some communities, depression is not at all like “psychosis”. This is a very nasty association. As a school counsellor once told me, “it’s not bad, it’s just sad”. Cutesy, but you get the idea.
So if you’re reading this, and you are feeling ongoing sadness, despair, a lack motivation or satisfaction in your everyday life, ignore any stigma and please see someone about it.
I’ve been going through a very rough patch over the last few weeks — thanks again to Pia, who weathers through my storms and sleet — and I need to do the same thing, probably more so after this.
It’s the only way to help yourself, and the saddest things happen when people don’t get help.
Read the post, make up your own mind, and vote accordingly. 🙂
(Oh, and happy Movember!)