Zombies are People, Too

How things change… and how things stay the same.

For Jaq’s most excellent Casaween party, Pia and I dressed as zombies… as a sociopolitical statement, or even protest.

“What kind of sociopolitical protestations do zombies harbour?” you may ask.

“Is there an analogy to be drawn between the brutal appetite of the lifeless zombie, and the violent spread of democracy by apathetic nations?” would be a cogent and astute question.

While there may be numerous thoughtful and potent allegories to be made between zombie and human, illuminating the futility of war, the clash of ideologies, and the condition of man… we chose to make a damning statement about deep-seated discrimination in pop culture.

Since when have you seen known people or established characters depicted as the undead in zombie films? For sure, the very excellent films Shaun of the Dead and From Dusk Till Dawn included family members and friends in the feeding frenzy, but in most cases, zombie films only depict the faceless and anonymous of the undead. Ha ha, faceless.

I’m looking forward to a film that depicts the fullness of zombie life, echewing the traditional discrimination towards cultural status of zombies. If your local milkman can become a zombie, why not your local representative? If your quarryman labourer, why not your rock star? What we’re demanding is realistic cultural representation of the undead in popular culture and entertainment. That’s all. Famous people can be zombies, too.

EXT. Streets of modern city. The undead prowl the streets. A small group of humans are held up in a supermarket. They have created a makeshift barricade of beer cases in front of the main entrance…

Our still-human heroes lay behind the barricade, the quiet chill of anticipation, flinching at every distant groan, holding their weapons in this hand and that, patting them down, and prodding each mechanism as if every touch would empower the weapon with sympathy for their dire situation…

“What the…? Did — did — did you see that?”

“What?”

“Over there, past the post office. That group.”

“Yeah. Okay, sure. Ugh. What about them?”

“Holy crap!”

“What? What’s wrong?”

“Look at them! At the front!”

“… Oh man. No way.”

“Seriously!”

“No fucking way.”

“Am I right? That’s Avril Lavigne! Right?”

“No way. Don’t they have, like, security guards and stuff? That’s impossible.”

“Dude, isn’t that her security guard next to her? She’s eating his arm!”

“Uh, no. Oh man. Dude, that is Luciano Pavarotti.”

“No way.”

“Seriously.”

“No way!”

“Alright, screw this. I’m taking Avril. This is going to be fun.”

*cha-shick!*

Bonus zombie fun: Chasing Jaq’s new co-workers with a Google recruiting leaflet, groaning “braaaaaaaiiiins, braaaaaaiiins”.