The United States of America…
- is armed to the teeth with nukes,
- disrespects international law,
- invades and wages war on foreign countries based on abject lies,
- savagely ignores human rights,
- has virtually buried habeas corpus,
- supports institutionalised torture,
- and finally, the USA has banned Vegemite!
This kind of behaviour tends to bring out the yobbos bagging Yanks mentality, even among ever-tolerant Aussie GNOME conspirators. So, as we were giving stick for the latest round of inhumane acts by the USA, we pondered how thoroughly confusing our political system would be to the average American. Here’s a quick guide to Australian politics, specifically for Americans planning to apply for refugee status in the near future…
- Republicans are, for the most part, young and progressive.
- Liberals are conservative.
- We don’t use “liberal” as a pejorative term.
- To be doubly confusing, we have a “Labor” party, not a “Labour” party.
- Red is progressive, blue is conservative.
- We put numbers in the little boxes.
- Failing to vote is an exception to the rule.
- A “Free Trade Agreement” means freely trading your dignity for… free.
- Democrats once held the balance of power, but are now a miserable, ineffectual wreck. (Hold on a second…)
Let us know what we’ve missed in the comments, please.