Wave Your Bullshit Wand With Me

When someone says “not ready for the enterprise” (or similar context- and content-free assertions), what they actually mean is: “They never had to deal with this shit in Star Trek!”

Of course, this also means that claims of enterprise-readiness suggest that a product or service is “ready for use in Star Trek”.

Update: Since publishing this well-received article, I have started a series of posts about ideas, products and services that are — or are not — Ready for the Enterprise. Enjoy!

9 Trackbacks

  1. By Xfce Diary on March 12, 2006 at 10:00

    Most probably thebest definition of enterprise-readiness I’ve ever read.

  2. By Tadas blog on March 13, 2006 at 01:37

    1. Time sucks 2. Insufficient RAM sucks 3. Server which is offline for over two or smth months sucks 4. Commercial software sucks hard In other news:excellent definition for ‘enterprise ready’

  3. By adamw's very own blog - syndicated on March 13, 2006 at 08:56

    I liked something Jeff Waugh had to say yesterday: When someone says “not ready for the enterprise” (or similar context- and content-free assertions), what they actually mean is: “They never had to deal with this shit in Star Trek!” Postedhere

  4. By GNOME - SWiK on March 26, 2006 at 02:39

    [IMG alt] Couple other things trac needs: bug dependency handling (i.e., bug X blocks bug Y), more powerful querying, and dup handling that actually does dups. I was about to say ‘it isn’tenterprise ready‘, but I’ll hold off on that [IMG ;)]

  5. By Off the record on August 15, 2006 at 23:32

    Real are bringing WMV/WMA to Linux, legally. And Sun have announced more about Java’s upcoming release to Open Source. Linux will “succeed” (not to say it isn’t succeeding already, but be ready for “primetime” or “The Enterprise” when it is in a position where people can target their software to it, and want to do it. Each step helps.

  6. After finding this gem through Matthias Clasen and Ryan Lortie, I realised that my Ready for the Enterprise series simply had to include negative reviews too: Things that are clearly not Ready for the Enterprise. Apparently, Arjan van de Ven has declared war on context switches and process wakeups in Red Hat

  7. By Planet GNOME on September 3, 2006 at 19:38

    After finding this gem through Matthias Clasen and Ryan Lortie, I realised that my Ready for the Enterprise series simply had to include negative reviews too: Things that are clearly not Ready for the Enterprise. Apparently, Arjan van de Ven has declared war on context switches and process wakeups in Red Hat

  8. By Trying to get things done on April 7, 2007 at 20:24

    Now The opensource community has got some quite good tools in most of these regards, however, none of them are ‘enterprise ready’ I never quite understood what that term meant, instead going for this quote However, ‘enterprise ready’ actually has a meaning, I think, diluted it might be because of marketing terms. Generally in a large organization you see the following scenario: “Only a few admins that might not always have the time and the capacity

  9. By Planet #LUGRadio on April 12, 2007 at 19:27

    Now The opensource community has got some quite good tools in most of these regards, however, none of them are ‘enterprise ready’ I never quite understood what that term meant, instead going for this quote However, ‘enterprise ready’ actually has a meaning, I think, diluted it might be because of marketing terms. Generally in a large organization you see the following scenario: “Only a few admins that might not always have the time and the capacity