22 Sep 2001

someone thought there was a GNOME cabal

People who believe in big brother and organised syndicates trying to take over the world never cease to
amaze me. There just isn’t enough money in the fast-drying-up ‘taking over the world’ biz. It’s too damn expensive.

So, all your common garden type MBAs and corporate lackeys look into mass invasion of privacy, building islands with underground intercontinental ballistic missile launch pads, large-scale food contamination, baby switching, and the usual gamut of world domination tactics.

Then they run up the numbers and realise that the fast track to rich, lazy and badly dressed is through the US congress, medical patents, or making bad coffee (lots of it). They may be greedy, unkind, pathetic piles of societal waste, but if there’s anything they know, it’s where to invest, and since JFK was shot, world domination has taken a nose dive for swank bad-guy bachelors of all ages.

Catie’s response to this was, “You’re just bitter that the coffee thing didn’t work out”, which is the funniest thing I’ve heard for at least six months. It just goes to show how crap everyone else is, and that you should all start making a fricken effort.